Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize