I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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