dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
