Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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