we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Still dying that you shit outside
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
