he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
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