Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
