you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
