Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Randomize
