Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
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