we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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