Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
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I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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