I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize