the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
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