dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
