I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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