I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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