My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
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There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
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Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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