u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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