What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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