i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
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