If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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