what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
