Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
