Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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