Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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