PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
