Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
