let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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