Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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