I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
