Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
