Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
