Your tits are I can't wait for
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
