I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
