omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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