i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
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