Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
