I think im going to throw up on grandma
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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