Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
