i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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