i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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