I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
