I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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