he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
you traded sex for a burrito?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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