i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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