i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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