i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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