My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
