Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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