Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
