Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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