All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
