It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
