You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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