saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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