I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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