Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
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